Happy 16th Anniversary Babe!

Oh this picture makes me chuckle. This is how I first met Ryan, but let backtrack a bit and start at the beginning.  After highschool I went to a Christian college in the hopes of literally finding my husband.  All my life I just wanted to be a wife and mom, just like my mom was.  I decided to go to school for elementary education because it seemed like the next best thing to motherhood, but secretly I was just hoping I could get married straight out of college and start a family.  I knew I wanted a Godly man so what better place to find that then at a Christian college.  Surely everyone there would have the same convictions and desires.  Well, 4 years later and no husband was in sight.  I did end up with a teaching degree, and right after I graduated I ended up visiting my sister in this tiny little town of Dassel, went to church with her, and met her then principal of the school she taught at.  Later that day he called Sonia, who was also teaching 5th grade, and mentioned that one of the girls they were going to interview pulled out at the last minute and knew I had just graduated and thought it would be an amazing opportunity for me to get a "practice" interview.  He made it very clear that it was solely a practice interview and would not be an opportunity at a job, but I decided to accept it since I really was going to end up needing a job after all:)  I went into the interview praying to God and saying, "Lord, if for some reason they offer me this job (which was practically impossible) I will FOR SURE know it's you, and I will give you 1 YEAR in this tiny little town before I get onto my real life back in the cities with the big churches and much more selection of men.  lol!  Well, about 35 minutes after I interviewed I got a phone call from the principal, while sitting in the car with  my brother-in-law Matt, asking if I wanted the job!  I somehow mustered out a "Yes, thank you so much." and proceeded to hang up the phone and bawl.  The call came 2 weeks before school started.  I had no clue what I was doing.  I didn't want to move to a small town, I didn't know a single person except my sister and brother-in-law, and I was leaving all my friends behind.  BUT....I made a promise to God that I would give Him 1 year.



I also want to mention that at this point in my life I was probably more on fire for Jesus than I had ever been, even though I didn't understand why He wasn't bringing my husband to me.  I spent hours prayer journaling, worshipping in my little bedroom, and fasted often.  All of this was on my desire to be married and start a family.  I also want to be completely transparent and say that for a couple years I felt like God wasn't answering.  Like He didn't hear my prayers, yet I knew He still was my lifeline no matter what.  The longer my prayers went unanswered the more intense they got, and the deeper my faith was.  Funny how dependence brings us closer to God.  I ended up moving in with my Sister and Matt in their upstairs bedroom two weeks before school started.  That was truly a God-send because I didn't know anyone, so it was nice to come home to someone.  My sister also helped me set up my classroom and  it was pretty amazing because we actually both taught 5th grade in the same school, how fun is that?  We look so much alike we really confused a lot of our students:) 

I ended up going from a huge city where no one really knew me, to a tiny town where everyone wondered who I was.  I went from having no options for dating, to *trying to be set up every other week.  It got to the point where I started to tell people I was dating, just to get them off my back:)  I have very big convictions in the type of person I wanted to marry (to the point my family told me I was too picky) but I wasn't looking to just date anyone.  After 4 months of working in the schools I ran into a teacher who taught in the elementary school.  Since I was teaching in the middle school I only met her a couple of times.  I knew she went to my sisters church and saw her there when I'd go with them, but really never knew her.  Well one Sunday she came up to me at church and said, "Allie!  I have this guy you HAVE GOT TO MEET!"  My Initial reaction was, "oh Gail, you and all of Dassel!" lol!  I knew Gail was a Christian though, so I was a little more willing to listen, and what she said next really caught my attention.  That is, after the first question I gave her which was..."Does he love Jesus?"  She said Yes! and he comes from the best family.  And then she said... and this is what got me...and I have got to tell you, I don't really even know you, but the Lord keeps waking me up in the middle of the night and thinking about you and Ryan!  You jusT NEED to meet him, can I just give him your phone number and see if anything comes of it? 

Ryan is a bold little thing and called me cold turkey the next day.  I was shocked, but also impressed.  Especially after finding out he was still kind of seeing a girl, lol!  He was intrigued enough to call and I think we were both curious about why God was waking up Gail in the middle of the night.  A week after talking we went on a blind date.  Ryan literally had no clue what I looked like, when he opened the door and Sonia answered, he thought it was me, until I came around the corner:)  Oh man we still laugh about that and tell that story often.  This is what I think is also important to understand.  I went on that blind date hopeful this is who God had for me, and came home thinking this is not my husband.  It was not all fireworks and magic and Hallmark moments after meeting him.  And hear me when I say this, the entertainment industry has done SUCH  A DISSERVICE to us for what real love looks like.  Ryan showed up with his huge truck, his shaggy hair, his carhartt jacket, and most importantly what I thought what was religion but not relationship with Jesus.  I truly left after that first date thinking, what was Gail thinking, lol.  But he was NICE. And because he was nice, I had a hard time saying no to a second date.  On the second date we got deep in our conversation.  I figured I don't want to mess around with time if he's not the one.  I'll either scare him away or maybe I'll get some answers.  To my surprise, he actually came that date being super vulnerable and deep on things he wanted me to know as well.  To a point that was refreshing.  I knew he wasn't playing around with me.  He was wanting something serious as well and he had strong convictions.  And that was more attractive than anything else.  Our conversations flowed so easily that we kept talking and he continued to ask me out on dates.  It was on the third date he says, while we were sitting in the fish house, that he clearly heard God speak to him that she's the one.  And shockingly he told me soon after that.  I had NOT heard from God that clearly. I was interested but didn't yet think he was the one. I had such a different idea in my head of who I would marry and it looked nothing like this guy.  I had different ideas of where I lived and it was nothing like this tiny little town of 1500 people. 

It's actually comical now looking back at that and thinking what God must have been thinking.  He's like, I finally brought you your husband and now youre questioning it?  But I had this thought.  All through high school and college I had interests in guys, but I never felt settled.  I always was looking.  Even if I was in a relationship.  And I knew that wasn't fair, and I never wanted to get married and wondered if I made the right decision, or if there was someone better.  I needed to KNOW THAT I KNOW that this is the one that God had for me.  And I told Ryan this.  He told me that he knows I'm the one but he will patiently wait for me to know, and that I just needed to tell him when I knew.  And it was the weirdest thing....but one day after praying from a month straight for an answer, a peace came over me like none other.  It wasn't an audible voice, it wasn't in a dream, but it was a feeling that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this guy was the one and I never needed to guess if there was someone else out there for me.  And I tell you this because having this peace was SO IMPORTANT not just in telling Ryan he was the "one" but sustaining us through some of the most difficult days of marriage. 

Because no matter who you are, marriage is not easy.  It's the joining of two selfish people.  It's two different idea, personalities, two different sinners, joining together to make each other better but often pulling out the worst.  And although Ryan and I both love Jesus and love each other, there are very hard days in our marriage as well.  And there have been days when I have needed to stand on the knowledge that GOD BROUGHT US TOGETHER and I know that I know that it was His will because of the peace that I had.  And with that knowledge I know that this to shall pass and we can make it through anything. 

I am so grateful that I waited for Ryan, but I also hear all the time what do I do if my husband isn't at the same place as me, if I didn't have that peace from God when I got married.  I always want to use our story as an encouragement to those who are in the season of waiting, but I know sometimes it can be discouraging to those who are in marriages that might seem hopeless.  The best part is though, that the same God who listened to my prayers for years, and honored them, is the same God hearing your prayers.  Prayer truly does change things.  If you are in a marriage that seems distant, or unequal, or hard (thats all of us!) commit to praying for your spouse, (and your own heart) every day!  I would challenge you to start a prayer journal.  Its easier to stay focused and its also amazing to be able to go back a year from today and see how God showed up, because I guarantee He will.  Knowing that prayer can be the hardest thing to be accountable to because of all of the distractions, I want to do it with you.  I will 100% admit that I need the accountability as well and marriage is never something you "arrive" at.  It's something that takes work every single day.  Lets do this together.  Lets commit to 30 days of praying for our spouse, in a prayer journal. It will be my gift to Ryan this year for our anniversary!  And let's see how God answers prayers, either in our own hearts or our spouse! 

I saw this quote the other day and thought it was so powerful.  Marriage is so much more than feelings and emotions.  It's not just butterflies and it's certainly not Hallmark movies. It truly is about the commitment and the vows we took before the Lord and to each other.  Praying over every person reading this and their marriage. Praying you see the value and importance of a healthy God-honoring marriage.  And praying you see the blessings of being obedient and faithful to the Lord through whatever season you're in! I'm so grateful to do life with you Ryan Lundeen.  Through the mess, the hard, the dark times and the best of times.  You are my one and only and my prayer is we always continue to make it the best marriage we can!