A Momma’s Heart

allie • May 31, 2013

I remember before we had kiddos, and all I had to think about in this world was myself and the hubby.  But lets be honest, mostly myself.  We seem to be selfish by nature.

Then I had Tate.

Boy did that blow the selfishness right out of the water, and honestly I had  bit of a hard time adjusting.  I dreamed of being a Momma my whole life and when it actually came to be I remember having a melt down and crying, “I’m never gonna get to sleep in again!” Ha.  The hormones didn’t help.

I did settle into  motherhood though, and soon new worries seemed to take over.  I remember one night thinking of how much responsibility is truly on us for raising these kiddos.  I was worried I wasn’t going to raise them with a strong enough integrity, or love for others, or even more, a love for God.

And lately the worries seem to creep up more and more.  Maybe its the changes I see in the world.  Maybe it’s that my kids are getting older. Or maybe it’s because I realize now more than ever how short lived this world is and how eternity is waiting.  My kids souls are at stake.  As sweet and tender as their hearts are now, and how much they love Jesus, I know He gave us each free will.  And as much as I wish we could love Jesus for them, I have to realize that that is going to have to be their own personal choice they have to make.  And in a world with mixed morals, subtle messages everywhere, and worldly draws, I have realized that the only thing I can do is PRAY.

Pray like crazy for their hearts.

And pray that they make the right decisions.

And even when they fail, pray they come back.  Pray the Lord grabs hold of their hearts.  Pray they decide to love Jesus and make their relationship their own.

and this verse always seems to bring hope..

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.  Philippians 1:6

Another lesson we learned with Jules: these kids are not ours, we just get the honor of raising them before they get to go home to be with Jesus.  So my challenge to you, as well as myself, is when you find yourself getting worried/nervous/uptight–PRAY.  As this world has gotten scarier, my relationship with Jesus has gotten stronger, because I know that He’s the one constant in it all.  He never changes. He never fails.  He is our only hope.  And their hope:)  So I’ll keep praying!!

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I pulled off the biggest surprise I've ever done... I can't believe it!! So a little back story - 17 years ago Ryan sold his prized possession, his 1991 Mazda Miata, to help fund a much needed mini van for our baby on the way. After I got pregnant I quit my job and we went from 2 incomes down to 1 income. We knew that a 2 person convertible just wasn't practical and that the finances could be used in a better way. So we sold it... Fast forward 17 years and it all comes back full circle. I put my 17 year old son Tate on the task of finding us a Miata that looked just like dads, and he blew it out of the water. He found the perfect car on Facebook Marketplace In great condition! He drove almost 3 hours to pick it up with a buddy and pulled off the best surprise ever!!! Also to note Tate has never driven through the Twin Cities or Driven a stick shift on any road besides a gravel one close to the cabin. BUT he was confident and crushed the challenge!! We stored it for the night and gave it to him the next day! I think Ryan's reaction says it all (watch the mini vlog below!) Our "19th" anniversary isn't until November but what fun is a convertible if you can't drive it in the summer, so we gave it to him early and are so happy we did! *make sure to read until the end for a good laugh ;)
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